Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Ok, so we all know and believe in the sock monster, right? The one who lives in the laundry room and thinks it's funny to eat just one sock at a time?

Well then, who or what is the thing that lives in my dresser and somehow makes my levis shrink a little bit more every day?

It's gotten to the point where, when I learned that I have a fibroid tumor in my uterus, I got excited because maybe it's one of those, you know, watermelon-sized ones that you read about and when it gets taken out I'll be back to a size 6 without having to work at it.

But then again, having wine, popcorn and Ben and Jerry's for dinner like I did last night probably isn't helping.


Dee said...

It is a shame about the levis shrinker ! Mine lives in my dryer and I have finally learned to take my jeams out before he gets the dirty deed done. They're damp, but wearable in a day or two.
And, I thought I would lose weight when I had all removed-----it had to weigh something ! But it didn't make a difference. So, don't hold out any hope.
On that happy note, have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

Popcorn for dinner? I can understand the ice cream and wine but you are just asking for it with that popcorn. You are lucky you can still get into your socks. Use some control girl!

Anonymous said...

ooh....forgot to sign that! Sorry. It's me...Sheri

Heidi said...

I'm down with the popcorn, had to have some kettle corn (popcorn, plus SUGAR!) when husband left me alone with the kiddos the other night.

Here's the secret to combatting the Levi's shrinker: stretchy jeans! (The lady at Whie House/Black Market told me that all the cool kids are wearing them and the butt never sags! Woohoo!)

Robyn said...

Dude, I totally know about the Jean Shrinking Monster. I've even *seen* that f*cker hiding behind my dresser.

Heidi, maybe I'm not getting my jeans from the right place, but my stretchy jeans do still... uh... stretch from time to time. And even sag. In the buttockal area. Despite my ability to make the rockin' world go round (per Queen), this still happens to me. 'Tis a mystery of epic proportions.

kate said...

Dear Robyn, I can't tell you how happy it made me that you used the word "buttockal" in a sentence. I love you.

Heidi, sadly, my jeans (ala Gap) do have stretch in them. Just not, um, ENOUGH stretch.

Sheri, don't be judgin' me on my own blog. Popcorn is a perfectly reasonable dinner. Corn is a vegetable you know. ;)

Mom, yes, the "taking them out of the dryer while still damp" works, but I can never remember to intercept the dryer.

I am so glad I'm not the only one with this problem. What I want to know is, when is muffin-top going to be "in"?

Robyn said...

Dearest Kate -

I'm so happy I made you happy. But to be accurate, my use of "buttockal", genius though it may have been, was not in a complete sentence. Unless you'd like to consider "buttockal" a subject (though I really think of it more like an adjective).

It's a deep character flaw, my lack of complete sentenceness. Along with my word makeupability.

I do think we should expand our use of "buttockal", though. How about, "Hey, McCain! Don't be so buttockal toward your wife!". Or even, "I feel buttockal today."

The possiblities are endless. Unfortunately, I can't go on. I have to go do important things now. That's pretty buttockal.

Whosyergurl said...

Didn't you know that is what happens when you get married? It just means you are *happy!*

(AND, (David) she is off the market & doesn't have to "try" anymore!!! ha.)

kisses, Cheryl

Anonymous said...

so what do they do to the tumor? (said in my best Arnold voice).. my friend ended up w/ the 12 lb tumor..she was 22..thought it was a beer belly....bitch

Robyn said...


That never gets old. Thanks, MP.

Have I completely hijacked this posts comments yet? What were we talking about?

Imez said...

Oh, it's helping.

You'd be tumorous AND miserable without the comfort wine.

Um...are you okay, by the way, fibroid wise?

kate said...

Robyn, you can hijack my comments anytime. You make me laugh. By the way, is it even possible to say the word "tumor" without the AHNOLD accent? I think not. That's exactly what I did when I told David about it.

MP, it depends: they either "watch it" for awhile to see it it gets bigger, or if it's causing me grief they'll remove it. It's actually very common for women in their 30s andn 40s to have fibroids.

Imez, I think I'm fine. I will find out more in a couple of days but my doctor doesn't seem concerned. Thanks for the concern! :)