Monday, January 4, 2010


So back in college, my friend Jen and I became friends with another girl we worked with. Christy, I'll call her, because that is her name and I'm too damn tired for pseudonyms.

Christy let it be known that her family had money and lots of it. Her dad took them on ski-vacations to France every year and her step-mother was in Town and Country magazine. Sure, she loved to tell everyone that she was a "spoiled princess", but she was very fun and funny and loved to drink. Hello, insta-friendship!

After college she got married and moved to N. Idaho. She and her husband decided not to have children because they were "too selfish and didn't want to give up their life-style". Eric and I moved to Oregon, but Christy and I wrote and called occasionally for a few years before we lost touch.

Flash-forward 12 years. Eric and I have moved back to N. Idaho and I am working a couple of nights a week at a cute, hip little cafe. One night we were expecting a 12-top and at the appointed hour, a big obnoxious stretch-limo pulled up in front. Loud, drunken revelers streamed into the restaurant and took their seats. Guess who was among them? Yes, I got to serve food to my old college friend. Wow, did I LOVE that! She seemed hurt that I hadn't contacted her when we'd moved back and insisted we exchange phone numbers so that we could catch up.

We met for coffee a couple of weeks later and it was fine. Not the instant-reconnection I'd hoped for, but fine. As we left the coffee shop, she asked which way I parked.

"That way", I pointed.

"Oh, me too. I hope you didn't hit my car when you parked!"


"Because I have a new Volvo and I hope you didn't hit it. Yes, I'm still a spoiled princess. I drive a Volvo now!"

Ok, that wasn't so cute or endearing coming from a now 34 year old.

We made a couple feeble attempts to get together again after that, but it never happened. A few months later, I moved to Spokane, 30 miles away, and again we lost touch. Then, a couple of weeks ago, she found me on Facebook. "Hi! Are you still living in the area? I'd love to get together and catch up!"

Alright, I thought; it's been 6 years and a lot has happened: her beloved mother-in-law died a slow and horrible death, I'd heard that her marriage was rocky....surely she's matured and become less, well, self-absorbed and materialistic, right?? Sure, we can try this again.

And then, on Saturday, I received another email from her, saying "Let's get together for dinner next time I'm in town. I have to come over in three weeks because I had to special-order some tires for my brand-new 2009 BMW! Yes, I have a 2009 BMW!"

Ok, is it me, or is that really fucking irritating??

I haven't responded yet because I'm currently struggling with my less charitable self. I'm resisting the urge to write back something like "Wow! I've never ridden in a BMW before! Can I have a ride? Huh, huh can I? I promise not to get your new leather seats dirty! I'll even wax it for you!"

I'm thinking I'm just going to ignore that email and let this "friendship" fade away once and for all.

What would you do?


robyn said...

Yeah, really fucking irritating. Some people will just never get it.

I'd just ignore, and let the friendship fade.

Jodi said...

Isn't it funny how some people really never mature? Hey, I guess it keeps life interesting!

Dee said...

What a darling girl-----not. She evidently wants to keep in touch so she can rub her cars in your face.
Tell her you would meet her, even ride in her new BMW, but the excitement would definately make you pee your pants on her leather seats !

Ariadne said...

GAGGGGGG!! One of those best left unanswered. :)

JACKI said...

2 words... 'BUH-BYE'!

Linda said...

Oh, I'd soooo meet her, BUT,... here's what you should do!
You should borrow a REALLY ratty car, something that just barely runs. With multi colored fenders preferrably. Then make sure to park it REALLY close to her BMW, so as to make it impossible to get in our out without making door contact.
You should wear the worst clothes you can find. Make sure your hair is a MESS, chew with your mouth open, and spend the whole dinner telling her how happy you are about the 5 point buck that your husband brought home after hitting it with his truck!
She'll never call you again!!!

kate said...

Ah, thank you for confirming what I already thought!

Lala, I like your idea! That would be so damn funny...

Dating in college said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Wishful Nals said...

just wanted to stop by to say i love your etsy shop!

Blank Girl said...

Pssshhhh... I would definitely NOT meet her. However, I wouldn't let it just slip away, either.

You have a golden opportunity here to shed some light on her hollow existence and, who knows, it may actually resonate this time. I'd reply to her email by saying if she wasn't such a materialistic phony princess you might have been interested in getting together... or, you know, something along those lines. ;)

Whosyergurl said...

LOVE your candor, Dahling!
Cheryl in IN

Whosyergurl said...

LOVE your candor, Dahling!
Cheryl in IN

RNW said...

She doesn't sound like she has a lot to offer in the way of friendship (unless she's willing to give you her hand-me-down cars once she moves on to her next toy - or she could give it to me and I'll be friends with her). Seriously though - to some extent we each may resort to high school-ish feelings/behavior occasionally, having indulged in feelings of insecurity and not-good-enoughness myself, but the material stuff? Really mot pretty. And also? Who gives a FUCK about your stuff? Is there anything more shallow than that? It's STUFF.

Terri Vellios Realtor said...

I believe everyone is put into our lives for a reason, to either learn FROM or to TEACH to.

You don't need that stuff she does. But why?

I'd meet her, and be genuine, and honest. And maybe throw in, geez the price of that BMW could do wonders for those in Haiti right now ;-)