Friday, April 4, 2008

things i have learned

I know:

...that I am incapable of maintaining an exercise routine for more than two weeks.

....that I can eat 27 Bit o' Honey candies in one day.

...and speaking of candy, I know that the average 9 year old can pack 7 Tart n Tiny candies into each nostril. If you don't know what Tart n Tiny candies are, you were not a child of the 70s.

...that when packing for a trip, it is wise to pack for more than one type of weather. I know this, and yet I ignore this wisdom pretty much every time I go somewhere.

...that deciding, when very intoxicated, that you could dance so much better if you were barefoot can lead to a trip to the emergency room. A very expensive trip to the emergency room. That I am still paying for.

...that yelling at a crying child oddly does not make it stop crying.

...that your common house-hold vacuum does not double as a wet/dry vac, no matter how much you need it to because 20 gallons of fish-tank water are flooding your new family room.

...that no matter how hard it is, I need to refrain from giving my ex-husband dating advice. It's just that I could save him SO. MUCH. TROUBLE. if only he'd listen.

...that I can never again live somewhere that it rains 300 days of the year. It's raining right now for the first time in weeks, and I am fighting the urge to kill someone.

...that "less is more" does not describe me in any way. And the odd thing is, it used to.

...that I will never again attempt to be someone I'm not just to please my partner.

...that I am so, so lucky to have met a man who loves me for who I am, and that he loves my daughter as if she were his own.


Dee said...

Oh my stars you are smart, and all through making your own mistakes. Aren't you proud of me letting you do that? Been doing that all your life and the same with the rest of you all. ( is that called abondonment? )

jpogue said...

Nope, it's called "wise".

Linda, aka "Lala" said...

Yep, you are the sharpest tool in the shed.

I'm with ya on that 'dating advise for your ex' thing. - sigh -

Yep, you are the brightest crayon in the box.

Isn't that funny that 'less is more' no longer describes you. And even stranger, that now it DOES describe me! But with my current changes, I wonder if I'll go back the other way again ...??? hmmm,...

MP said...

you are such a wise woman....