Friday, October 5, 2007

divorce, 2007-style

So yesterday was Bug's birthday. Initially she said she didn't want a party (she does not like to be the center of attention in that way.) So we were just going to have Eric over for dinner and cake and present opening. Then I started inviting a few other people who are important in her life and so it grew into a party. But she didn't seem to mind.

It was a lovely fall day and I'd spent the day decorating the house with colorful gourdes and Indian corn and orange and yellow mums. We ordered pizza, had plenty of wine, had a fire going and candles lit.

And as I looked around our living room, I saw David (the love of my life), Eric (my ex-husband), Eric's mom and her new husband, his dad and his new wife and even Eric's new girlfriend. I thought "Now this is what divorce should look like." We had come together because of our love of Anna, overcoming past differences, and everyone was pleasantly surprised at how natural it felt. Eric's mom and dad visited (in the past, they would not come to family gatherings with the new spouses present), Eric's step-mom and David got to know each other (she got teary when leaving, telling me how much she likes him and how happy she is that I found him and that I'm happy), and I visited (briefly...ahem) with Jennifer, Eric's new girlfriend. Every one lingered long after cake and ice-cream, sitting around the fireplace talking and laughing. It just felt so, so good that Eric's family still loves me, that while they didn't understand our divorce they accept it and are loving and welcoming toward David, and that Anna gets to be the center of all this love.

Life...is good.

3 comments:

Dee said...

Didn't that just make you want to break out laughing when you saw "the group" ? I was in that situation once, but I was one of 3 wives sitting side by side by side ! I was torn between giggling and horror at the obvious appearance of us ! It WAS funny !
But yes, it is great that extended families can accept each other.

jpogue said...

EXACTLY how divorce should go. Once you have kids, your feelings (well expressions of anyway) should go out the door. Good for ALL of you!

Blank Girl said...

Ack! We missed it? Happy belated Birthday Anna!