Sunday, March 2, 2008

mother of the year, part 2

or is it part 3...or 4?

Here's a story problem for you. I'll even supply the answer.

Ready?

1 balloon + 1 seven year old + 1 supposed adult (me) + 1 large ass (mine) + 1 twenty-gallon fish tank, all in one small tv room =

20 GALLONS OF STINKY, NASTY FISHY WATER FLOODING OUR NEW CARPET, several dead fish and five weeks of hard work wasted.

Nice.

Can I have a drink NOW??

14 comments:

Robyn said...

Yes. Yes, you can. Have a large one.

20 gallons worth, if you like.

kate said...

Oh Robyn, like I said, WHY aren't you my next-door neighbor??

jpogue said...

So did your large ass actually break the fish tank or just knock it over. No drinkie, it's gonna be FINE, JUST FINE! (hey, you'll get a good laugh out of this here in a few months.) DAMN I wish I'd been there! To help you clean up of course...

Linda, aka "Lala" said...

Man, I'm glad I WASN'T there, the string of swear words probably would have singed my delicate ears.

kate said...

Jod, I reached out to "bap" the balloon so that it didn't touch the "hot lava"....and in doing so my arse barely (I swear!) tapped the glass...and GGGGUUUUUUUUSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!! Apparently 20 gallons of water causes quite a bit of pressure against glass. It doesn't take much.

We spent several hours yesterday pulling all the furniture out of that room so that we could pull the carpet up in hopes of it drying. So now we're having to climb around all the furniture that belongs in the TV room which is now in our living room and dining room. So NONE of our downstairs rooms are really usable right now. The fun just never stops! &*%$@#@%$ fish. I knew we shoulda got a puppy.

The good news is that it looks like the carpet will be ok; but the pad is going to have to be replaced.

kate said...

Oh, and in a move of utter brilliance, I tried to vacuum up the fish water with our regular vacuum!! So that's ruined too! I figure by the time it's all said and done, those fish will have cost us almost $1000.


sigh.

jpogue said...

Call your homeowners insurance TODAY! They take care of stuff like that and it won't make your rates go up.

Dee said...

There you go. See, INSURANCE ! That's why you pay those premiums for years. Call them.
%$^&#$@(^&#@ fish !

MP said...

Oh man...
Time for a shop vac..
Maybe you need to get a hamster..they don't tip over.

MP said...

I tagged you for a meme!

kate said...

Oh MP, you can read my mind. Or, rather, my daughter's mind. She's all "Well! Now that we don't have fish anymore, I guess we can get a puppy or hamster now, right??" Becuase I'm TRYING to keep our home from becoming a frickin' ZOO, which is what would happen if I didn't put some controls into effect. So....we're researching hamsters and gerbils and guinie (sp?) pigs. Anyone have any advice??

Also, we have a shop-vac...but it was in the garage and I just grabbed the first sucky-uppy thing I could. D. O. R. K.

Dee said...

Kate ! that new picture isn't you. Who is that person ?

kate said...

It's not? Then who the hell is it??

Dee said...

see Lala's blog.