Monday, March 29, 2010

warning: if you are easily offended or embarrassed, move along

Mom, I'm warning you right now: skip this post and go play some video Sudoku or something. No. Really. Go.

Because I have NO personal boundaries and apparently my embarrassment meter is broken, I have a story for you.

The other day when I got home from work, Anna informed me that she had been rifling through every drawer in the house looking for extra money for her trip. (Yeah, we had a talk about THAT already.) She told me she'd found some interesting things...for example, did I know that David has a retainer?? She also came across her baby teeth in a jar ("Eeewww gross!") and she found in one of my drawers this "weird thing with a cord" and what was it??

... "Um, that's a back massager."

"Yay! Can we use it??" OH. DEAR. GOD. NO.

She loves getting and giving back massages. How was it possible that I had this...this "tool" and had failed to mention it to her?! We could have been enjoying it for years! (no comment).

" think it's broken. Yeah. It's broken. It doesn't work very well." and then "Look! Animal Cops Houston is on!! Yay! Here, I'll even sit down and watch it with you!"

Whew. Quick thinking. She was distracted for the rest of the night.

And then, the next night, while David was out of town, we were snuggling in bed, her reading to me, when she suddently remembered! She wanted to try that back-massager-thingie and she was not going to take no for an answer. I quickly realized that the more I refused and the more I tried to get her to forget about that damn back-massager already, the more allure it held for her.

Finally, I relented. Oh yes I did. Just a quick little back massage to prove to her that it really wasn't all that effective...stupid defective back-massager.

So yeah. Someday, when she's about 14 or so, the lightbulb is going to go on and she's going to realize: THAT WAS NO BACK MASSAGER!!!!

Oh man. Thank god we already have a therapist.


Jodi said...

Yep, your embarrasment meter is definately broken.

And you're not interested in turning your blog into a book?

David said...

It's amazing what you will share with the world...your audience needs a therapist.

kate said...

My audience IS my therapist. But yeah, they probably need one too.

Do I embarrass you, love?

David said...

Only in a "laughing my ass off" sort of your little pic BTW and you too.

kate said...

So is that the same as "You surprise me in a delightful way"?

I love you too, sweetie. Thanks for tolerating me and my broken personal-boundaries meter.

JACKI said...

I am seriously laughing my ass off right now!!! Oh god Kate!

Nichole said...


Kate. You kill me. Seriously.

Robyn said...

I love this story so much I want to marry it.

Whosyergurl said...

Just from the title...I knew I wanted to read this post!
So, she busted you...found your "man in the drawer."
oh. dear.

Ariadne said...

Holy shit, I think I just peed my pants. PEED MY PANTS. BWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!