Friday, March 19, 2010

::extremely random and not at all deep thoughts::

*I got rolfed this week. This was not nearly as much fun as it may sound. Rolfing is basically a massage that kicks your ass and may leave bruises. Despite this, my back and neck are still killing me.

*My friend Nichole, who definitely qualifies as a compulsive shopper (but hey! I'm not judging, especially when it benefits ME) visited from Seattle last weekend and brought me a gigantic box of hand-me-downs and rejects. And I tell you, it's like I won the clothing lottery because she has fantastic (and expensive) taste. I have worn some article of hers every day this week.

*I am wearing extremely cute shoes today (with my new favorite wide-legged jeans). Behold:
I know! Not my usual style but I love them soooo much. It's good to step outside your comfort zone every now and then, no? The store was having a half-off sale, and these were the last pair of these and they happened to be my size. I mean, how could I NOT buy them, right? Woohoo! I can't wait to wear them with skirts this Spring.

*That bag? Is an exact replica of the one I made for my friend Julie awhile back. I liked hers so much I had to make one for myself, and I get so many compliments on it, everywhere I go. The other day in Nordstroms? No fewer than 4 people (including one adorable gay boy who I wanted to stuff into said bag and bring home with me) approached me to rave about my "beautiful bag". Also? At the store where I bought those cute shoes, the owner declared my bag a "work of art" (she also owns the art gallery next door) and asked if I'd be interested in selling some bags on consignment in her store! She wants 45% which is CA-RAY-ZEE, so I won't be taking her up on her offer. But it was flattering, nonetheless. I have wonderful new business cards on their way, so I will soon be handing cards out to everyone who dares approach me with compliments.

*We went to the school talent show last night and there was a girl who came out on the stage and seriously? I thought she was some one's mom or big sister. She was at least 5'9" tall, wearing a shirt that showed how very well developed she is, slacks and high-heels. She has the body of a 24 year old, I'm not even kidding. And she's in SIXTH GRADE, ya'll. Throughout her entire song I had two thoughts running through my head: "I guess she COULD be 19, if she's flunked 6th grade, what? 6 times." And also "I bet her dad sleeps with a shotgun under his pillow." OH please oh please oh please do not let my daughter suffer the body of a full-grown woman at the age of 12.

*In a few weeks, Anna and our young friend Syringa are going to GOAT CAMP! You may not know this about me, but I have a thing for goats. It was a sad, dark day when I found out that "goat herder" was not really a viable career option for me, because my parents did not have the foresight to give birth to me in the Swiss Alps. Damn the luck. So when I stumbled upon Goat Camp, well let's just say I did not bother consulting my daughter about her wish to attend before hitting that "register now" button. Luckily she likes goats too, and goat cheese, which they will be making. Nichole (Syringa's mom) and I may or may not KIDnap (har har) a baby goat. Or three. Note to self: look into the laws about having a goat in one's backyard within the city limits.

*Once again this morning I grabbed the business end of my curling iron, thereby rendering 3rd degree burns on at least two fingers. WHAT THE FUCK curling-iron manufacturers, why do you make the barrel and the handle the EXACT SAME SIZE AND COLOR??? I should sue them. If that dumb woman can sue McDonalds for spilling scalding-hot coffee on her lap, then this dumb woman should be able to sue Revlon for for the angry, oozing wounds I now sport on my left hand. Seriously, talk about DESIGN FLAW.

and lastly:
*Because Sandra Bullock was nominated (and then won) an Academy Award, she has given numerous interviews recently wherein she talks about the fact that she was able to give the performance of her life because she found the "one man in the world she could fully trust and rely on", a man who taught her that you can't judge a book by its (tattooed) cover, the man who got her to open her heart and love someone in a way she never thought possible. And now? It's come out that he cheated on her with a tattooed porn-star-wanna-be. It just makes me sick. And that's really going to help with my almost-nightly "David comes to his senses and divorces my ass, leaving my crying in the fetal position knowing that I've lost my one true love" nightmares. I hope his pit-bull mauls his stupid testicles off.

Jesse James' stupid testicles, NOT David's. We don't even own a pit-bull.

Well! On that note, I urge you to carry on with your day and have a great weekend!


tallulah said...

love, Love LOVE the bag!

Dee said...

T, all that random, profound thinking from Kate and you noticed the handbag. It IS fabulous !
Kate, you truly have a new career with your marvelous goodies that you design !
The girls will love Goat Camp-----don't they have one for Moms?

Lucky you falling into the luck of the "new to you fashions "! And I think the shoes are exactly your style ! and the wide leg jeans !

So, I loved your blog. yeaaaa

Nichole said...

You kill me!!! I'm laughing so hard

Glad you love your new rags, and I'm SO glad you still love the shoes! I KNEW you would.

Yes, Dee, I FULLY think they should have Goat Camp for Moms. Kate and I will certainly be doing more lurking about than we probably should!

Well...I'd better get back to my impulse shopping. :)


Jodi said...


I'm so glad you're getting such great reviews on your stuff! How exciting for you. Maybe you better make an exact replica for the Hillbilly Gathering...

I want to go to goat camp!

I used to love Jesse James, until he did this. Scum bag!

I WANT THOSE SHOES. When you're done with them, I have first dibs. Which sweatshirt do you think they'd look best with????

Whosyergurl said...

OMG, Kate, I love you to death! I was reading your post...looking at the shoe picture while thinking "I LOVE THAT BAG!"...I didn't know. Sometimes I have to be hit on the head.
I have a half-dollar size SCAR on the back of my left hand from when I was holding my hair with my left and laid the curling iron into it with my right. I haven't used it since! My flat iron doesn't burn me and that is what I am using. Doug says I shoud wear fire proof gloves to do my hair.
oh...and the neck thing- do you have one of those bump foam pillows? Saved my life!
hug you!

kate said...

Nichole, it's COMPULSIVE shopping, not impulse shopping. Although god knows you excel at that as well. :)

Jodi, the thing about those shoes? You'd have to wear MATCHING socks and I don't think you're capable of that.

Cheryl, I have actually burned my fingers on my HAIR while using a flat iron. I may not be very bright, but I figure that can't be good for my hair. So yeah. Don't use that anymore.

Thanks ya'll for the bag love! I happen to SELL THEM on etsy. See the left side-bar to head on over to my little shop.

Anonymous said...

Jodi, your lack of fashion sense amuses me. Good God, anyone can see that those shoes call for a brown sweatshirt, one with some white writing on it would really be perfect. You are welcome.

Sheri said...

oops, that was me up there!!

Jodi said...

Hmmmmm, guess I'll have to get one Sheri!

And Kate, I have a matching pair of lime green socks - smart ass.

David said...

I'm going to take good care of my testicles....

Linda said...

Too much in that one to even comment on, but here goes....

I used to love getting your rejects, so it's fun that you get Nicholes!

Your daughter is weird.

Your husband would be insane to leave his uh, "perfect", (cough, cough,...) life.

And I HAVE to buy that messenger bag. I fricken love it. Soon as I get a job, that baby is MINE!

Ariadne said...

Love the bag. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. And also, I must know what brand those shoes are.

I have a recurring dream that the Captain will leave me for his batshit crazy ex-wife OR, alternatively, Glinda the good witch from the Wizard of Oz. WTF?

You are quite amazing. I think you should think about teaching a Sandi Henderson Market Bag class at Buttercuppity. yes???