Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ooooh nooooo

Like many people, we have a mouse problem this time of year. We (ie. David) has caulked and nailed and plugged holes with steel wool. The good news is they are no longer frolicing on our dishes and partying in the silverware drawer, because that? Made me want to burn the entire house down.

No, now they just scamper around on our kitchen counters. After finding banana after banana having been burrowed into and hollowed out (which, I admit, is sort of cute but still....eewww), we took to putting the bananas in the bread box. There is NOTHING left out on our counters that resembles food, and yet every morning, I find still mouse poo in the corners and behind the blender. Which causes me to go all Mommy Dearest with the Clorox cleaning products.

As you know, we live with a small, tyrannical animal-rights activist. We have been warned not to kill any mice in our attempts to discourage them from eating our food and, you know, leaving hanitvirus on our forks.

Which means, of course, that we just waited until she went to her dad's for the week before setting up our ammo. David had purchased some high-tech contraption that looks like a harmless black box that you put some dog food in and then, when they go in, basically shocks the shit out of them. I'm sure he researched the crap out of that thing before purchasing it but the fact is? It doesn't work. So I set out a couple of the good old-fashioned snap traps.

First morning: nothing.

And then? This morning....the trap had indeed been set off. But there was no dead mouse. Instead (oh I can hardly bring myself to even write this) there was a tiny pool of blood behind it.


That's right: I am WORSE than a mouse killer. I am a MOUSE MAMER.

Anna must never know of this. I threw that damn mouse trap in the garbage and will never use one again. And I'm going to buy some very tiny baindaids and a shot of whiskey and leave them on the counter when I go to bed tonight.



Whosyergurl said...

You are hilarious. You know what works? Those sticky things. Of course, they stick to them but don't die. And, you can hear them cry out sometimes. I guess it isn't too humane, but it works.
Did you ever see the show "Mouse Hunt?"
Warm hugs from Indiana, Cheryl

Casey said...

Ewww! The one time I caught a mouse in a trap, I had to have a buddy of mine come get it out of my lazy susan--Matt was at work and I couldn't live knowing there was a corpse near my cookware.

I've always wondered WTF you're supposed to do with the mouse when you've caught it on the sticky thing. Wash it's little feet off and set it free? Or whack it with a baseball bat?

kate said...

I'm no mouse-hugger, but I could not do the sticky things. They don't kill them: they just, well, STICK them there until the mouse starves to death. No way.

JACKI said...

ummm... don't let Ival tell you about his ventures with the 'sticky things'. It's Ival though... I'm sure you can imagine.

Jodi said...

We've used them all. The sticky things definately work. Casey, you don't need a baseball bat, just a meat tenderizer...

kate said...


Explain to me how you (and Elmer) can rescue a tiny little squirrel and nurse it back to health (that damn squirrel had a nicer house than I do) and yet you use those MOUSE TORTURE CHAMBERS. They are closely related, the mouse and the squirrel. MURDERERS.

Jodi said...

The squirrel wasn't running loose in my house pooping in my drawers!

Dee said...

ruh roh !!!!!!!

I HATE MOUSIES !!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry. I cannot tolerate them, in my garage. ( I used to have them in my house in Meridian--they came in thru the fireplace---I SAW them. they had a freeway going up the screen, down the screen, across the hearth behind the entertainment center, behind the sofa.)
I set traps w/ peanut butter. When I catch one, its gone to heaven, not mine,----- mouse heaven , cuz in mine, THERE ARE NO MOUSIES! Then I put on my rubber gloves, get a plastic bag, open the spring and in he goes .
Sorry if this is too graphic, but That is my life w/o mousies.

Your life with a mouse - hugger is just impossible to satisfy all of you. Sumthin's gotta give.

Mothering4Money said...

Can you borrow a friend's cat? That might work.

Or if you can handle the smell, throw an entire box of moth balls under your house.

Jenn said...

We had an infestation earlier this summer. They would come up at night and look at me tauntingly, then eat the peanut butter off the trap without setting it off...b*tches! We used to live in a cabin in the woods with mice galore. We had a baby mouse one time that was so stupid we couldn't dare kill it. We named him Marvin and he would come right up to the dog, hang out in the open, no survival instinct. But once he started getting up on my counters, he had to die!

hello. said...

omigosh!! been there + done that sister. actually, you know what's worse? the sticky things. because one time a mouse got trapped on it + was so ambitious to escape, the contraption thingee pulled his skin off. not pretty. we were darn close to waving our little white flag...

p.s. love the blog! just found it + glad i did :)

harada57 said...
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