I just went to pick Anna up from school and before I knew what was happening, I was surrounded by a pack of girls asking "Can we come to your house to play? Pleeeeaaase?!" I call the mother of 2 of the little girls to tell her that her kids will be at my house. Then I turn to the other mother who is standing next to me on the playground, to make sure it's ok with her. She asks what time she should come get her daughter. What I mean to ask is "What time do you have dinner?"
Instead, I ask "What time do you start drinking?"
Oh yes, I did.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Actual conversation I had with my daughter this morning after having to ask her approximately 304 times to get dressed:
"WWWWWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
"NOW what is the matter?? Jesus!"
"I just pulled my hair really really hard!" (??!!)
"Well Anna, SHIT HAPPENS."
Now those are some words of wisdom right there. And empathy. I'm not proud of it, but damn. I don't know if she's been more whiney than usual this week or if it's because mommy has stopped drinking.
Sweet baby jesus, I don't know HOW our mothers did it without happy pills and/or alcohol. And I only have ONE child.
"NOW what is the matter?? Jesus!"
"I just pulled my hair really really hard!" (??!!)
"Well Anna, SHIT HAPPENS."
Now those are some words of wisdom right there. And empathy. I'm not proud of it, but damn. I don't know if she's been more whiney than usual this week or if it's because mommy has stopped drinking.
Sweet baby jesus, I don't know HOW our mothers did it without happy pills and/or alcohol. And I only have ONE child.
happy friday
One of my darling sisters has implied (ok, she came right out and said it) that I may be too easily amused. To that I say: tell me this isn't funny.
Is there something WRONG with being easily amused?
Is there something WRONG with being easily amused?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
would have been better with ketchup
BRISBANE, Australia (AP) -- A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday. Luckily it was only a terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed and not a REAL dog. (ok, I added that part.)
"The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it," said Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda.
Ok, you know you've lived in the Australian tropics way too long when the sight of a 16 foot python in your dog's bed isn't cause for alarm. I'd run straight through a plate-glass window if I saw a 3 foot snake in my house.
It's called "survival instinct" people.
"The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it," said Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda.
Ok, you know you've lived in the Australian tropics way too long when the sight of a 16 foot python in your dog's bed isn't cause for alarm. I'd run straight through a plate-glass window if I saw a 3 foot snake in my house.
It's called "survival instinct" people.
Matt Damon does Matthew McConaughy
Well, he's not DOING him...although maybe he is and that's fine. But oh man, this video is cracking me UP this morning. Robyn over at Pocket Aces turned me on to it. I love me some Matthew McConaughy but Matt Damon's spot-on impersonation is almost better. Brilliant!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
mom-isms
My sisters and I LOVE to give our mother shit about her "mom-isms". Definition of a mom-ism: some phrase or word that your mother says that you have no idea what they mean or they are just so...so...un-hip that it makes you wince. Because they were sayings popular at the time she was a teenager approximately 189 years ago. (ouch! I think she just tried to hit me with a hair-brush from 300 miles away.) Anyway, our mom has amused us for years with her mom-isms and any time any one of us accidentally "slips" and uses one in conversation, it is fodder for MUCH pointing and laughing and cackling: "Hahahahaha! You're turning into mom! You're turning into mom!!" Not that that's a bad thing, because our mom is actually pretty wonderful (see "snitzy" below). But still. No one wants to turn into their mom, do they?
Anyway, here are some of my favorites mom-isms:
*Choc-o'-block: means "full", as in "My tree out back is choc-o'-block with robins." As if that's SO MUCH EASIER to say than "full".
*Upside-down Rudy: I have NO IDEA what the hell this means but I imagine it to be some sort of cartoon duck from the 40s.
*putter: Used to explain her plans for the morning, as in "Oh, I'm just going to putter around the house." There will be picking up a little bit, watering plants, maybe filling bird-feeders, but no serious work is being done.
*putzy: similar to putter, but maybe less goal-oriented.
*ishkabible: this one isn’t familiar to me, but my sister says it is similar to “wonky” as in “Oh hells bells, I cut your bangs crooked and now they’re all ishkabible.”
*snitzy: This means “fancy”, “posh”, “classy”. As in “Well don’t you look snitzy!” Although usually said about herself, tongue in cheek.
Anyway, I bring this up now because I never thought I'd pass any mom-isms onto my daughter. After-all, I'm pretty hip. Cool. With-it. Groovy. Aside from teaching her every swear word I know, I really do try to speak the English language in such a way as to never embarrass her or, more importantly, myself.
Well, last night as we were out walking Moby, Anna was talking about something, I don't remember what, and she said "Now, isn't that a CO-INKIE-DINK?" oh. shit. This is STRAIGHT out of my mouth. Oh god. It's starting.
What have you heard your kids say that made you wince, knowing that it came straight from you?
**Edited to add: tonight I was talking to my dearest friend Christina, with whom I raised MUCH hell in college...and, who am I kidding, we still raise hell together. Anyway, she's the mother of the two most adorable little girls, Piper who is 2 and Skylar who is almost 4. Christina said that the other day, Skylar said "Mommy, when I grow up I want to be just. like. you!" And I said "Oh man, that simultaneously warms your heart, and makes you nauseous, doesn't it?!" "Exactly, Katie" she said. "Exactly." We are going to be in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.
Anyway, here are some of my favorites mom-isms:
*Choc-o'-block: means "full", as in "My tree out back is choc-o'-block with robins." As if that's SO MUCH EASIER to say than "full".
*Upside-down Rudy: I have NO IDEA what the hell this means but I imagine it to be some sort of cartoon duck from the 40s.
*putter: Used to explain her plans for the morning, as in "Oh, I'm just going to putter around the house." There will be picking up a little bit, watering plants, maybe filling bird-feeders, but no serious work is being done.
*putzy: similar to putter, but maybe less goal-oriented.
*ishkabible: this one isn’t familiar to me, but my sister says it is similar to “wonky” as in “Oh hells bells, I cut your bangs crooked and now they’re all ishkabible.”
*snitzy: This means “fancy”, “posh”, “classy”. As in “Well don’t you look snitzy!” Although usually said about herself, tongue in cheek.
Anyway, I bring this up now because I never thought I'd pass any mom-isms onto my daughter. After-all, I'm pretty hip. Cool. With-it. Groovy. Aside from teaching her every swear word I know, I really do try to speak the English language in such a way as to never embarrass her or, more importantly, myself.
Well, last night as we were out walking Moby, Anna was talking about something, I don't remember what, and she said "Now, isn't that a CO-INKIE-DINK?" oh. shit. This is STRAIGHT out of my mouth. Oh god. It's starting.
What have you heard your kids say that made you wince, knowing that it came straight from you?
**Edited to add: tonight I was talking to my dearest friend Christina, with whom I raised MUCH hell in college...and, who am I kidding, we still raise hell together. Anyway, she's the mother of the two most adorable little girls, Piper who is 2 and Skylar who is almost 4. Christina said that the other day, Skylar said "Mommy, when I grow up I want to be just. like. you!" And I said "Oh man, that simultaneously warms your heart, and makes you nauseous, doesn't it?!" "Exactly, Katie" she said. "Exactly." We are going to be in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.
Monday, February 25, 2008
lazy sunday
Yesterday was lazy in the most lovely way. Just David and I, him stringing tennis racquets and me embroidering by the fire. Nice. This little hedgehog is based on some of my favorite Japanese fabric; this piece will be a wallhanging for the bedroom of two special little girls, Skylar and Piper.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
