Thursday, December 24, 2009

::be it pink, purple or heliotrope::

This little short film by the geniuses at Pixar, makes me so happy every time I watch it. Hope you enjoy it too.

(if you can't see the whole screen, click on it and it will open in a new window.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

::drunken santas::

Last year my mom and I took a brief mother-daughter trip to NYC. We had SO much fun; we saw the Rockettes Christmas Super Duper Uber Extraveganza (no, really, it was amazing), we took a tour of the city including riding the ferry out to see the Statue of Liberty, we posed for pictures at the ice-rink at Rockefeller plaza, we asked a secret service guy for directions, we saw gorgeous cathedrals and the Empire State Building and so many fun things. Being two hicks from Idaho, NYC often left us awestruck, slack-jawed and/or laughing hysterically. One of my favorite images, though, was from when I went for a walk by myself while my mom rested; I was just so high on the energy of the city that I just had to keep walking and walking and walking. At one point, as I walked up one of the avenues toward Central Park, I passed by a tavern. As I passed, the door swung open and out came Santa! Then another....and another....and another... All in all, I counted EIGHT Santas and let me tell you, they had been enjoying the nog. They were stumbling a little bit and, I shit you not, singing. God, I wish I'd had a camera!!

I wonder, though, how traumatic that scene would have been if a child had witnessed not one drunken Santa, but eight. How would his mother have explained that one??

Anyway, happy holidays to you and yours. Ho Ho Ho!!! Meeeeerry Christmas!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

::moving on::

A visit to is always a good way to start the week. Let's review some of my recent favorites.

Why are there so many people in Walmart who seem to have forgotten an important article of clothing??
Attention Walmart shoppers! Today we are having a sale on PANTS! Buy one get one free!

Oh honey, I agree. Those tights are far too fabulous to cover up.
Many Walmart shoppers can not be bothered to get out of their pajamas. I actually think this is my sister. Hi Jod! I like your slippers.
And what is UP with the cross-dressing, people??

I love this one:
Flowing locks? Check. Sassy tights? Yeah, baby. Camo skirt? HELL yes.

Dude, I LOVE your sandals. They really accentuate your long legs. And again, you can never go wrong as long as you're wearing Camo.
This poor bastard can't decide if he's Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy. And really, why should he have to choose?

Oh, Walmart. You almost make me love you.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

::eighteen minutes::

That's how long our conversation lasted.

It started with me offering up common ground. "It seems we got off on the wrong foot, and I'd like to try to fix that. We actually have a lot in common: we both knit and sew and read the same kinds of books. We have the same political leanings, have the same values and interests and I think we could be friends."

...she stares at me with her usual pinched look, saying nothing. So I continue.

"I know that our....tenuous relationship causes Eric stress, and he feels caught in the middle. It's not fair for him to be in that situation, and it's not productive to the relationship that you have with Anna, either."

Again, she stares at me, silent.

I go on to say that I think she has so much to offer Anna (ok, I was being generous there), saying "You are a smart, strong woman, passionate about what you do and you could be a really positive role model for Anna."

Her first words of the night: "Well, first of all, I disagree with many of the things you just said."

I swallow and regroup; this is not off to a good start. I try another angle and I ask her what her concerns are.

She said that Anna doesn't respect her a parent, and I said "Ok, well, I think that right now you are outside the loop, by choice. Eric and David and I present a united-front; we have created this really healthy and positive model of parenting-after-divorce, and you have avoided participating in that. Therefore Anna sees you as an outsider."

She said "I don't want to be a part of what you've created. That's not the only choice here."


I said "Of course it's not the only choice, but Eric and I brought a child into the world, and it's our life-time responsibility to raise her in the way that works best for all of us. We communicate about everything, we make big decisions together and most importantly, Anna knows she is being raised by people working together for her benefit. We will always parent this way, because it works and because when Eric and I divorced, we agreed that this is what we wanted it to look like."

"But not every divorce looks like that."

"Well, it's what every divorce should look like when there are children involved," I say.

"That's YOUR opinion."


At this point I think there might have been steam coming out of my ears, but I remained completely calm and said "But J., it's working for everyone else but you. And it's not going to change, because it is working and we are all very proud of the situation we have created. I'm not going anywhere and Anna isn't going anywhere. You happen to be dating a man with an ex-wife and a child, and really, you should be thrilled that he is the kind of man that he is, who adores his daughter and maintains a healthy, cooperative co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife. "

"Well then, maybe I have a choice to make".

"Yes," I said, looking her right in the eye, "Perhaps you do."

"Well," she huffed, scooting her chair back to leave, "It's obvious you didn't come here to accommodate me."

Oh yes. She did.

So, I tried.

And the thing is, you know how when you have these big, important conversations with people and later you think of a million things you wish you had said? Well, amazingly enough, I said every single thing I wanted and needed to say, and better yet, I didn't say a single thing I regret. I stayed completely (and uncharacteristically) calm and level-headed and gracious the entire time, even when she was completely unreasonable.

Now. Does anyone know where I can find a voodoo doll?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

::send band-aids::

Ok, so if you've been reading this blog for long, or if you know me in person, you're familiar with the, um, tenuous relationship I have with my ex-husband's girlfriend. In short, she is not supportive of the on-going friendship E. and I have, and the way we continue to co-parent our daughter. Because hello? We are (and will always be) Anna's parents. Anyway, I'll spare you the details, but there was another uncomfortable situation this past weekend and it's time to take the bull by the horns.

Because she and E. have been together for 3 years and she has not warmed up to me (or Anna) in the slightest, I guess I feel the need to make one last-ditch attempt. Because I can not handle it when someone doesn't like me. Because our dislike for each other puts E. in an uncomfortable position of having to defend each of us to the other. Because it would just feel so much better if she and I had some sort of friendship. Because I'm a nice person, damn it.

And so I reached out and made the phone call yesterday. We are going to meet for coffee tomorrow night to discuss "things". I'm hoping to clear the air, to explain some misunderstandings. I want her to know that I will always be part of E's life, because we have a child together, and I want nothing more than for E. to be happy. I want her to understand that she is welcome, if she is willing, to be part of the family that E. and David and I have have worked so hard to create around Anna. (see post below). I want her to know that I am no threat whatsoever; I could not possibly be more happily re-married.

So wish me luck. And if I'm not back in two hours, call 911.

PS. Advice on how to handle the situation is more than welcome!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

::group hug::

When Anna was little, my ex-husband Eric and I used to do something with Anna called "group hug", which was basically just Eric and I hugging with Anna in the middle. She adored it because, well, she was in the middle of her two favorite people in the world, feeling safe and loved.

After we divorced, she'd still occasionally request a "group hug", and Eric and I would laugh and then humor her with a brief, if not somewhat awkward, "group hug". The ritual continued with me and David though, and there are few things Anna loves more than to get in the middle when David and I are trying to hug or kiss.

Last night, David came home from the grocery store and had a big smile on his face. He said he'd run into Anna and Eric at the grocery store. He and Eric stood and chatted for a few minutes, and then, as they parted, Anna said "Group hug!"

I would have given anything to see these two 6'5" men, my ex-husband and my current husband, hugging in the produce isle, with a little blond girl in the middle, grinning from ear to ear.