Thursday, January 31, 2008

so if I lose 15 (ok 20) pounds and get a tan

how would this be for a barefoot hawaiian beach wedding?

not that I'm excited or anything.

To my family: We're starting to scout out locations to get an idea of pricing. I did look on yesterday and flights are roughly $500 round trip. That's not bad, is it?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

snow day dancing

This is Anna and her cousin Sarah, dancing in the living room. I love this picture; Anna looks posessed.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

scenes from a self-imposed snow day

This is near the intersection in front of our house, the one where EVERY SINGLE CAR that attempted to go through it got stuck. I saw at least 25 cars bog down in a 24 hour period. I seriously considered sitting on the porch taking pictures of each car but decided that would be cruel. Look how much fun Moby is having.

Moby on the sidewalk on our block. Some people feel it is important to shovel or snow-blow their sidewalks so that passers-by can safely navigate. David and I believe that that if you are foolish enough to attempt to go for a walk, you can use the damn road. Which is our city government can't be bothered to plow either. The UPS man got stuck in front of Eric's house for 4 hours yesterday! He's just lucky I wasn't expecting any shoes or there'd have been hell to pay.

I love the snow-covered branches and berries against the brilliant blue sky...

The icicles outside our kitchen window. This morning they are about 5-6 inches longer than this!

oops! guess I should have taken the bird-feeder down this fall...

after I got bored watching cars get stuck in front of the house, I decided to make a "door snake" to cover up the huge gap letting in cold air at the bottom of the front door. Because it's important to have a cute door snake, don't you agree?

door snake in action. oh my, would you look at that? it even matches our rug.

I made a belt too:
which, um, also matches the door snake. Because I'm creative like that.

Sunday, January 27, 2008


You just can't believe the amount of snow we've received here in the past 24 hours. It started snowing Saturday at about 1pm and it literally hasn't stopped since. I took a yard stick out awhile ago and measured; we have 16 inches of snow on our back deck! This morning David and I took Moby and went for a walk. Our power had gone out as I was in the middle of making our morning lattes, so we bundled up and headed for the nearest Starbucks (which I don't usually support, but damn, I needed caffeine!). The snow was up to Moby's "armpits" and he had so much fun frolicking through the field. He had to leap into the air in order to make any headway at all, but he loved every minute of it. With the power out on much of the South Hill, people were out walking and it felt very neighborly to stop and chat and marvel at the snow. We helped several people get un-stuck; it is NOT a good day to try to drive anywhere. Our neighbors (who were also stuck) said they haven't seen this much snow in Spokane in 30 years. As David shoveled, I sat in the living room and entertained myself watching literally every single car that passed the house get stuck in the intersection out front. There have been at least 10-12 cars stuck out there so far today!

Now, as I sit here at my desk under the eves, I can hear, every now and then, huge amounts of snow falling from the Ponderosa Pines onto our roof...WUMP!! It's a good day to be inside, toasty and warm in front of the fire, reading a good book. Which is exactly what I'm going to go do now. If I make it to work tomorrow, I'll post photos.

Stay warm!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

mark your calendars!

So, it's official, David and I have decided to get married next HAWAII!!! February 7th, 2009. That gives you one year to plan, save, and for some people who shall remain nameless, lose 20 pounds.

So I've already had at least 3 people today ask when David proposed. The truth is (hi honey! you can stop reading now because I'm about to embarrass you) David asked me to marry him a week after we met. Well, we'd "met" on-line a week prior. We'd spent a total of something like 36 hours in each other's presence before he asked me to marry him. It was very sweet. I made him put in in writing (in cement) so that he couldn't pretend it hadn't happened. But really, at that point my attitude was "Why ruin a perfectly good thing by getting married? All marriage does is make you take each other for granted." (It was easy to blame the failure of my first marriage on marriage itself, but the truth is, I MADE Eric marry me. I believe my exact words to Eric, after 3 years of living together, were "It's time to shit or get off the pot." Isn't that romantic??) Anyway, back to David and I. Now that we have over a year together, I realize that this relationship is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's real, it's honest, it's based on love and respect and communication, and it's mutual.

We want our wedding to be a REAL celebration, one that involves our dear family and friends, all of us relaxed and enjoying each other and our surroundings. No stress about flowers, catering or napkins with our initials. This is going to be a celebration of love.

PS. For those of you to whom I'd mentioned it, the Kailua Maui Gardens is no more. It's now a "private estate", probably owned by Oprah or something. No matter, we'll find someplace equally as beautiful that can accommodate all of us.

Tropical beach, here we come!!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

because I have very little pride

I will share with you this fact: this morning, as I was getting dressed, I actually tried to tuck my stomach ino my pants.

It was not successful. Time to get busy.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

ok, so...

apparently some people are tired of my "baby bulldog" story and have requested a new post. The thing is, you see, I've been HOUSE BOUND with a sick 7 year old for FIVE DAYS. I don't know what is going on in the outside world...but if you want to know anything about about Hannah Montana, Junie B. Jones or Webkins, I'm your gal.

It's bloody cold as hell here (which, when you think about it, makes NO sense whatsoever); it's SEVEN DEGREES right now. In Anchorage, it's a balmy 27. My car has been under a 5 inch blanket of snow for 6 days and there is so much snow in the yard that Moby has taken to peeing on the deck so that he doesn't have to get his paws wet. Nice. How I'd love to be waking up somewhere warm and tropical today, knowing that it was going to be 80 degrees with a light warm breeze. I'd throw on a bikini (hey, it's my fantasy, damn it, and in it I weigh 120 lbs.) and spend the day snorkeling with Anna and David. Any sunny, tropical island would do, as long as we had nothing to do but play in the water and lay on the warm sand all day.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be, and what would you be doing?

Friday, January 18, 2008

this is my new motto

"When I think of all the jobs in the world that I have ever had and ever will complain about, I will from this day forward remind myself that, Yes, this may be boring/thankless/a pain in the ass, but at least I'm not shaving a baby bulldog's butthole."

thankyou, fussy.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

here's your chance

to clobber me over the head with all the annoying cliches I've used on you guys over the years: "Leap and the net will appear!" and of course my favorite, "Everything happens for a reason!" and "When one door closes, another one opens!" Just kidding. I've never said that because if I did, I'd have to repeatedly slam my head in a car door as punishment.

Anyway, my point, and I do have one, is that it's become painfully obvious that I need to find a new job. I have mixed feelings about this because there are many things I love about my job, such as getting to go out to Janie's and helping with her birds, the occasional opportunity to bring home an orphaned tiny fawn and also, hello? Water Potato Day. But...without getting into too much detail, there is a person who has made me completely dread coming to work. He is a volatile, unstable, potentially dangerous time-bomb. Yes, of course I've gone to higher-ups and they did not handle it appropriately at all. He is on the record as having physically threatened several people prior to my even coming to work here. At least 3 other people have quit as a direct result of his behavior, including, most recently, a brilliant PhD who we were lucky enough to hire. He lasted 6 months under this person. But he (the offender) has power because he is building up the tribe's land coffers, which, of course, gives them more power.'s off into the wild blue yonder I go. I am filled with regret for making such horrible choices during my college years. Art?! Who the fuck majors in art??? David, bless his sweet heart, thinks I should try to make a go of making money off my creativity. But how? What? Maybe Christina and I could do something together; it's been a long-time dream of ours. So maybe now is the time for me to re-evaluate everything.

I know. I'll leap, and hope the net appears. If you hear a sickening thud, please call 9-1-1.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


I was going to write about how January is making me cranky and my job is making me homicidal. But...well, that's no fun.

So! Let's see. This weekend I made two shirts; one for Anna (can you guess which?) and one for Nichole. Her family has a VW Camper Van; I found this fabric and fell in love with it and knew I had to do something for her. So her daughter Syringa got a purple t-shirt for Christmas (which I forgot to photograph) and Nichole gets this one for birthday. Both with camper vans, of course!

On Friday I played hooky (I NEEDED a mental health day) and spent the day downtown with Christina and her mom Diane, who is visiting from Northern California. We had a blast, especially in my favorite store, where I bought these:

The top one is for me to use at work (ha!), the bottom one is for David's mother. This is exactly what her three loving sons call her. She thinks it's hilarious. So when I saw this mug, I just knew I had to get it for her.

This store has so many of these magnets and coffee cups and note pads. We spent over an hour just laughing ourselves silly over them. One of them said "I've finished your laundry! The ashes are in the fireplace!" Christina bought a magnet that says "I swear I child-proofed my house, but they keep getting in!" I just found their site; if you need a coffee cup to describe your mood, or the perfect irreverent magnet to give a friend, go here.

Oh jeebus. I just saw these two:

I swear, I'm going to buy stock in this company.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

forget a puppy....

I'm asking the Wish Fairy for a baby goat.

I love my commute

We have SO MUCH SNOW here in the Spokane area; more than I've ever seen, I think. Which means all the wildlife is coming down lower and lower to find food. Today on my drive to work, I saw:

Two very colorful (against the snow) male Pheasants in a field beside the road.

3 Bald Eagles soaring above the trees.

Two deer struggling through the deep snow.

A coyote, waiting for just the right moment to cross the road.

And a herd of Elk, walking in a meadow just below tree-line. I counted 8 of them. This is maybe only the 4-5 time IN MY LIFE I've seen a herd of elk in the wild.

I feel sorry for people in LA or Seattle, stuck bumper to bumper staring at concrete buildings. I'll take my hour long drive through the Palouse any day!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

the smart ass doesn't fall far from the tree

If it makes you guys feel any better, my daughter is going to grow up just. like. me.

She knows she's not allowed to watch Harry Potter movies yet, and I just walked in to the TV room where she was watching a commercial for some HP movie. She had her eyes cartoonishly wide-open, staring at the tv, saying "Aarrrggghh! I've just watch a Harry Potter commercial! I'm traumatized for life!!!!" And then she fell over laughing at how funny she is. I think she's the funniest person she knows.

suddenly, I feel like parent of the year

I'm sitting here at my desk, with tears rolling down my face, trying to laugh silently because I work with He Who Can Not Bear The Sound of Human Joy.

Ahem. Anyway, here is the cause of my silent hysteria.

My favorites are the "Quit Your Whining" award, "That'll Learn Him" award and the absolute best: the "Oh No You Didn't" Award.

So. Damn. Funny.

damn it, i could have had a pony.

(click on the image to see it larger)

Did you know there is a Wish Fairy? I didn't either, but last night Anna was secretly writing a letter that she wouldn't show me, or it wouldn't come true. Then she put the letter in a tiny box, and asked me for help coming up with an offering to the Wish Fairy. We decided on a purple jelly bean, because everybody knows that purple is the favorite color of fairies everywhere. Then she put it on the table next to the bed and went to sleep.

Needless to say, she was JUST A LITTLE BIT EXCITED that the Wish Fairy actually came last night.

If only I'd known there was a Wish Fairy when I was little.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Hooray, Iowa!!!!

I could not be happier that Obama came out the winner in last night's caucus.

Here's what I love about him: He did not have a burning desire to become President. He hasn't spent his entire career with his eye on that prize. He repeatedly said that he had no desire to run for President; he gave in only when he could no longer drown out the calls for him to run. Why does that fill me with hope? Because unlike the other candidates who HAVE worked toward the Presidency all or most of their careers, for him it's not about EGO. He has no ego. And if he did, his wife would knock it right out of him; she laughs at his new-found celebrity and she's referred to him, on the record, as "snore-y and stinky." How refreshing is THAT? I believe that he says what he means and means what he says. His attitude is "Here is who I am, all of it, good and bad, take it or leave it." He's not going to compromise his beliefs just to win the Presidency. When have we EVER had a candidate like that?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Pick your candidate

Welcome to 2008, the year we get to say GOODBYE to W!! It fills my heart with joy that this man has less than a year to pack his cowboy boots and English language dictionaries go back to Texas where he belongs.

Now, I am obviously a raging, bleeding-heart liberal, and proud of it. I think Kucinich is great and is most closely alligned with the issues that are most important to me(gay marriage, health-care and troop withdrawl), but I worry that he doesn't stand a snow-ball's chance in hell of getting elected. Today he announced that if he doesn't get enough support in the Iowa caucuses, he urges his supporters to get behind Obama. I found, at his website, this test you can take to find which candidate is best suited for what matters to YOU. Go ahead, it's fun.

But if it comes back with Romney, I don't wanna know.

when did I turn into a person who posts photos of christmas cookies?

Seriously. WTF?

Ok, moving on.

Yesterday we took the tree down and put away the 948 snowflakes and the snowman and snow-woman that sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" over and over and OVER. Oh, how I'll miss those until next year.

Anyway, when packing the ornaments, it was decided that the boxes needed proper labels, so David took Anna into the "Man Room" he introduced her to label-making. Because it's not enough that he's now got her hoarding card-board. Anyway, she was so giddy with the power of labeling EVERYTHING that she thoughtfully did this:

Also, I got a sticker on my arse that said "Mommy's butt". Just in case anyone had trouble finding it.